#FuckYou Part 2: The Rest of the Equation.
#FuckYou: The Rest of the Equation. At the conclusion of the circus that ended with Brett Kavanaugh’s appointment to the Supreme Court I posted a drawing of a pussy hat with “#FuckYou” printed across it. My public reaction to the debacle felt justified and was...
Speaking Truth and Being a Bitch are Not the Same Thing.
Speaking Truth is Not the Same as Being a Bitch When a woman speaks her truth in a context where she can’t be sure it’s welcome, she knows going in that she’s taking a risk. She knows that unvarnished honesty, spoken in a strong voice, without apology - especially if...
Yes? Or No? Do a Gut Check!
Yes? Or No? Do a Gut Check! By now, we all know, hopefully, the critical importance of a “Yes” truly meaning “Yes” in a sexual context. That’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the importance of saying “Yes” only when you mean it in more...
Self-Love Means Staying in Your Own Lane.
Self-Love Means Staying in Your Own Lane. There’s a lot of talk out there about self-love as something we need to do. We’ve gotten past the notion that self-love (or self-care) is selfish and bad. We long since recognized that we are relentlessly hard on ourselves and...
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
The Lies We Tell Ourselves. Yesterday I spent at least some part of my day lashing myself with the Whip of Shame (the W.O.S.). Why? Because I was not getting more done faster. You are lazy. A slacker. A fuck-off. Undisciplined. You will not fulfill your mission. I...
We’re All Bitched From the Start
We're All Bitched From the Start Scott Fitzgerald, author of The Great Gatsby, was the most celebrated writer of the Jazz Age and during the highpoint of his career, made more bank than anyone. He also had a wife, Zelda, a frustrated writer and schizophrenic who was...
BE HER NOW, Sarah!
BE HER NOW, Sarah! I don’t want your condolences you fucking piece of shit, my friends and teachers were shot. Multiple of my fellow classmates are dead. Do something instead of sending prayers. Prayers won’t fix this. But Gun control will prevent it from happening...
The Troll Under Your Bridge
The Troll Under Your Bridge What’s that under your bridge? What do you mean “what do I mean?” That … that thing! Staring back at me with the yellow, bloodshot eyes! What do you mean “it’s nothing.” There is definitely something there. Come over here and take a look...
I’m a Howler Monkey. Who the Hell Are YOU?
I'm a Howler Monkey. Who the Hell Are YOU? I was so young when my parents told me I was adopted, that I don't remember a time when I didn't know. My parents always emphasized that being adopted meant that I was wanted. Chosen. They made being adopted sound like such a...
#BewareTheBella: An Open Letter to Abusers
#BewareTheBella: An Open Letter to Abusers This is the story of Bella, who woke up one morning and realized she’d had enough. So begins Helen Zahavi’s 1991 novel, Dirty Weekend, a parable of revenge. When we meet her, the protagonist, Bella,...